A not really new beginning

28/7/2013 

3years old, determine you at 80years old. I think this is a true statement. You can’t change your personality in just a day or a month time. It’s not like when you want to start a new life and then your wish will be fulfilled. Time is needed and most importantly your own effort is needed. Nothing will be changed if you say things without any actions. Nice. Just admit that you are what you are. And thus, a not really new beginning has begun.

Life in Macau, it could be awesome or lifeless. It’s all depends on your choice. Of course most of the time needs to look at your work schedule as well, not to mention the operations department. Currently, I am lifeless. Woke to work, back and sleep. It keeps going round and round. At least for the first week. Predictable, it would be continuously be the same for another 10 weeks which is about two months time. It’s fate. You can’t do anything when you are penniless. Luckily not homeless. =.= A friend asked me, where are you planning to go on your off day. And I said, I am not going anywhere, except to hand in a form to the office. That’s all. Because I can’t afford the entertainment and the expenses when I am out of the house such as f&b all, at least for now. It’s okay! Endurance is needed at this critical time. I would stay patient to go through this kind of suffering days. No problem.

Well, I’ve started my job for a week. I thought that I could handle this before I came here, because I have friends working in Genting before, and they described many about it so I thought, if they could do it, I can do the same too! However, yes, I should be able to take it, but with quite some effort and good memory! I know I will be categorized under the strawberry generation when I say need some effort in job. Well, which job doesn’t require effort? I know it’s not easy, but I am not gonna quit. HAHA! Say only larr, who knows one year later and I am gone? Be frank, on the first few days, I seriously tensed out! Sometimes, I couldn’t have a nice sleep. All my dreams were about my job the work. I forced myself to study the procedure again and again. It was like having an exam later and I am doing last minute revision. Sigh. 

I have a sarcastic senior. Sometimes some sarcastic statement just popped out from his mouth and I felt so irritated! “Alright, after learning for a month and you can go back to Malaysia!” =.= wtf! I wish I could give him a punch! When I said I don’t miss my home right now because just two weeks time passed, should I start missing Malaysia?! Then I am labeled heartless. =.= I seriously don’t know what to say. Understand that every company has a devil which everyone hates so much, it’s a norm but I just don’t like it! And I don’t like to act busy in front of bosses. I don’t like to talk when I am doing work. I don’t like to do useless things such as walking around the space, to show people that you are working. Why so serious dear boss? Maybe I am just too innocent and naïve.

Being innocent and naïve is not a bad thing. I wanna be a good person. HAHA. I don’t mind if you say “what a stupid girl”. Everyone lives different life. You can’t expect people to live the way you are. Right? You are aggressive, or you are after brands, or you are down to earth, or mean, whatever. No problem, just choose a tape and record your life in it. You direct your own story, don’t listen to anyone else. Those are just suggestions, not a compulsory step.

I always whisper in my heart, do what you want and what you like. Success is not a mandatory stage in one’s life, just be happy and be yourself, as long as you put in effort in living your own good life. Money is important. Without money you are nothing. Money is also dirty. With money you can do everything. There is no fixed definition for life, because everyone has their own pathway. Don’t get jealous on others, you will have it, if its meant to be. 

I am someone who don't care for the future. I don't yearn for a bright bright shining future. I just wanna live a peaceful and contented life with my own colours in it. That's all I wanna be, and that's where I am moving to.

♫♪ Diary: Lexy ♥ Life