再见CM

是该离开温室了。受保护的小草长大后，始终要面对被人们践踏的窘境

换一个新环境或许会有新的领悟，新的突破

还有你现在可以很理直气壮的说TMD！我很累！

我最最最舍不得的应该就是员工餐和逢星期五的雀巢雪糕了

同伴，加油！

本命

有人欢喜有人愁。

我不晓得顶更有多难受，因为根本不轮到我

不是说我有多想，

只是觉得我还是应该要体验一下外面场的忙碌

不能总是待在温室里，倍受保护。

前几天遇到了位在澳门打拼的新加坡人。

他让我重新思考对于未来的想法。

可是到头来还是没个答案。

或许也无迹可寻

原则知告诉我不要想太多，

生活中会有太多的变数，明天的事只有后天才会明了。

担心也一无是处。

那什么又是浪费呢？怎么一个素未谋面的人，

就只是个顾客会很突然的告诉你说你做这份工很浪费呢？

我很少思考这个问题，我应该做什么，我适合做什么。

盲目的为了工作而工作，为了卑微的金钱而远道而来打拼。

有时候被问多了，也是很累。

我不烦，只是脑筋转不过来。

钱，你根本是万恶之首！

First in 2014

Happy new year!
Shall not look back the left behind
Waved hand and thank 2013
And begin living one brand new year ahead!

Whats accompanying me on this first day was my new note 3 phone casing, aka the pale pink! It makes me look too much girlish but yet, i love it! Thanks mates for that, my bday puresento!

To pamper myself a little, for my hard work in 2013, for the blissful year to be 2014, for every means, i gotten myself a watch! 很有时间关念之我终于有手表了！^^

Secret, is what i bring forward from 13 to 14. Secret, one korean drama that makes your heart ache like you gonna die. Worth spending time watching! :)

Before a sleep

Two sides , blur vision exists.
Opaque side, good or bad?
Watermelon, uncut, perfect.
Watermelon, sliced, with seeds, flawed.
Do you always see things this way?
All from your point of view.

You wouldnt know that uncut watermelon is so sourish but the another one just so juicy!

Fine.i just wanna have watermelon for my stomach......

Look back the past, glad that you're different.
Good job to you!
Now you've become stronger, a lil.
I will continue to hold still my attitude towards you and things and all.
Im happy and selfish.
But i am more concerned about my happiness than your treatment.

Think in a way that delight and enlighten myself than pleasing other nonsense.

Enough! Lets go lankwaifong!

身不由己

If you could see both situation, standing in their shoes, no matter how heavenly or hell-y either one is,  you would still be able to look at it with one open heart. You might have reactions like unwilling, disgusting, frustrating, hate... lots of other negative feelings. but then you must also realize one thing that, everyone is coming from different walks of life. Accept it.  They will one day realize your realized, and be in the way. Some, just don't get it and drown deeper.

If comparison has to come in place, I am super girlish as compared to thee I accept loneliness, thee are pathetic. from the bottom of my heart, I wish god bless you. Now I see what it means by 身不由己. Thank you for bringing me to somewhere I don't fit in.  Seriously, it was a cultural shock to me. I live way better than how I thought I were. I understand your sorrow but then I couldn't help. To this point I think I am useless in protecting my friends. Helpless.

♫♪ Diary: Lexy ♥'s broken

What a life

Casino, a place of fun for the mindless rich.

Very easy finger movement, but determines your pocket.

Place your bet, and have fun, or gg.

Now I understand why people come continuously.

They are betting their life. Support these continuously, unconsciously. 

Pitiful!

Expecting something good in return by pouring in large sum of money.

Where they don't possibly get back anything in the end. 

Ohh! Maybe free food and beverage? If it considered.

But I thought people said there is no free lunch in the world? 

You reap what you sow, it doesn't cost anything for the corp to free you something,

When you are giving them 100 times the cost of stuff they offer. 

:) good luck people!

泛滥吧，口水！

我发现说话滔滔不绝的人会有更多朋友。问题并不在于话题，而是量。大量！你必须要一直说个不停，别人才会觉得你是个人。就好像，不爱说话的人，是奇怪的。无论你在讨论某个头条新闻，说着哪个倒霉人的坏话，讨论着今天饭堂食物好不好，不等，你，只需开口。 而另一人也就跟着附和。或许一唱一和这样聊天比较有趣吧！可惜，并不懂得这精髓。我对日常生活失去热情，别问我食物好不好吃，别问我感觉怎么样。我只会说 OK，可接受。因为，有时候那些东西，真的没什么特别！我回应，只因要给个反应。 =) ♫♪ Diary: Lexy ♥ nothing.

New!

Hahaha!Smiling with my mouth wide opened. It's month end it's month end!!!!! So what does that mean??




SALARY!!! Oh my money!! Finally I have received my remuneration for my July and August!! This indeed brighten my life and ease things up in every means. So so, I'm excited to calculate and allocate where should this and that portion goes  then I don't have to starve myself on month end like my August time. It was torturing and saddening. Anyhow, it's over! 
I was planning to get a purse, but I see none that I like. Does that means I can save this portion to spend on something else? Or maybe I should save it and get a even better one in future? Teeeeeehee! Actually I don't need a purse as I don't have much money or cards. LOL But an ordinary human should have one I think. Umm.... I'll enjoy my purse hunting time. 
Also, one should reward oneself once a while isn't it? Like monthly......:p I've gotten myself a set of skin care products. Not a full set, but I would say kinda complete. Maybe just lack of the eye cream. >.< Or masks, or something else. I guess there are a lot more.

Dr.G, my favorite bb cream brand, though I've never used before.The bb cream has received many good comments, so just give it a try!Actually I was asking that consultant what's the difference between the A and the B,And then things just eventually happened, one by one its on my hand.Sigh... What a easy customer.Seriously I was planning just to buy the Neutrogena skin care set.They don't cost a lot but, a lot to me. Haha! Thus, the Dr.G,my reward for August.



By the way, I just dyed my hair. Expecting something blonde, the not obvious blonde.But it's more like dull yinyeong beverage. Haha!! If you get what I mean.it turn out quite nice, kinda like it, but after some days, I felt like I have never been to salon, I've never dyed my hair.Like nothing happened to my hair.Some body is gonna say something. Duh!Well, still a new me! I looked fairer! Hehe
What makes me satisfied the most was my fringe! I've never felt so natural before.I mean the front hair. Never had a satisfied one until yesterday!!LOL. It's abit over I know, but it's true.Thanks to Stephanie for bringing me to Class I And I've got a very sweet hair cut experience, like what she said, a back hugging!He is just so sweeeeet!!Me likey!! :)



Okay, Imma happy cat! ^^Time to sleep.
♫♪ Diary: Lexy ♥ Macau

Dead broke

A new start on my own. My shadow just left me on that day to pursue a course. It was him whom always stands beside and watch me doing. but now I need to be extra careful because no one is gonna remind me of any steps. I am on my own. but I am free! It is good, and also bad. Good as in I learn to work as a reliable rep,  where you have to take care of your responsibilities without any reminder. I realized that I was not that nervous in his absence. HAHA! Maybe he is a stress for me. Bad as in I might have mistake in certain part, and in order to avoid, I might be slower than usual. They emphasize on 零错误!  Even machine makes mistake, what say you? sigh.



I am dead broke!  Please please my payout date...!! Can't it be earlier?!








♫♪ Diary: Lexy ♥ life.

A not really new beginning

28/7/2013 

3years old, determine you at 80years old. I think this is a true statement. You can’t change your personality in just a day or a month time. It’s not like when you want to start a new life and then your wish will be fulfilled. Time is needed and most importantly your own effort is needed. Nothing will be changed if you say things without any actions. Nice. Just admit that you are what you are. And thus, a not really new beginning has begun.

Life in Macau, it could be awesome or lifeless. It’s all depends on your choice. Of course most of the time needs to look at your work schedule as well, not to mention the operations department. Currently, I am lifeless. Woke to work, back and sleep. It keeps going round and round. At least for the first week. Predictable, it would be continuously be the same for another 10 weeks which is about two months time. It’s fate. You can’t do anything when you are penniless. Luckily not homeless. =.= A friend asked me, where are you planning to go on your off day. And I said, I am not going anywhere, except to hand in a form to the office. That’s all. Because I can’t afford the entertainment and the expenses when I am out of the house such as f&b all, at least for now. It’s okay! Endurance is needed at this critical time. I would stay patient to go through this kind of suffering days. No problem.

Well, I’ve started my job for a week. I thought that I could handle this before I came here, because I have friends working in Genting before, and they described many about it so I thought, if they could do it, I can do the same too! However, yes, I should be able to take it, but with quite some effort and good memory! I know I will be categorized under the strawberry generation when I say need some effort in job. Well, which job doesn’t require effort? I know it’s not easy, but I am not gonna quit. HAHA! Say only larr, who knows one year later and I am gone? Be frank, on the first few days, I seriously tensed out! Sometimes, I couldn’t have a nice sleep. All my dreams were about my job the work. I forced myself to study the procedure again and again. It was like having an exam later and I am doing last minute revision. Sigh. 

I have a sarcastic senior. Sometimes some sarcastic statement just popped out from his mouth and I felt so irritated! “Alright, after learning for a month and you can go back to Malaysia!” =.= wtf! I wish I could give him a punch! When I said I don’t miss my home right now because just two weeks time passed, should I start missing Malaysia?! Then I am labeled heartless. =.= I seriously don’t know what to say. Understand that every company has a devil which everyone hates so much, it’s a norm but I just don’t like it! And I don’t like to act busy in front of bosses. I don’t like to talk when I am doing work. I don’t like to do useless things such as walking around the space, to show people that you are working. Why so serious dear boss? Maybe I am just too innocent and naïve.

Being innocent and naïve is not a bad thing. I wanna be a good person. HAHA. I don’t mind if you say “what a stupid girl”. Everyone lives different life. You can’t expect people to live the way you are. Right? You are aggressive, or you are after brands, or you are down to earth, or mean, whatever. No problem, just choose a tape and record your life in it. You direct your own story, don’t listen to anyone else. Those are just suggestions, not a compulsory step.

I always whisper in my heart, do what you want and what you like. Success is not a mandatory stage in one’s life, just be happy and be yourself, as long as you put in effort in living your own good life. Money is important. Without money you are nothing. Money is also dirty. With money you can do everything. There is no fixed definition for life, because everyone has their own pathway. Don’t get jealous on others, you will have it, if its meant to be. 

I am someone who don't care for the future. I don't yearn for a bright bright shining future. I just wanna live a peaceful and contented life with my own colours in it. That's all I wanna be, and that's where I am moving to.

♫♪ Diary: Lexy ♥ Life

21.7.2013

The first post about myself in Macau, but couldn’t upload instantly as I am still expecting the uncle to install the internet. Life without internet is just like a washroom without a door. Kns!

Start from my arrival, I saw first the City of Dreams, Hard Rock and so on because they are near to the airport. Just beside, I supposed. Well, first arrival, the luck that welcomes us wasn’t a bright one. (us as in myself with another colleague). SO NOT A GOOD DAY. Someone else accidentally took the wrong luggage, where supposable belongs to my colleague. LOL Insane! When I look at the two luggages it doesn’t look the same at all! Very luckily that wrong guy realized before he went to somewhere else, so we were able to exchange back. First incident.

On the other side, I am lucky too to have known this colleague because he has some local friends in Macau. So we don’t have to fan about the way to our budget hotel, instead we have a driver! HAHA! It’s really bad to quote him as a driver. Okay, so I was happily carry my luggage into the car and heading to our budget hotel location. While on the way, I saw those buildings, the Macau Tower, the signboard, road sign, and just another murmuring started in my heart that, I am finally in Macau! After months of waiting, I am finally here to start my brand new life! ^^ Not to say brand new, but at least I am on my own! I don’t rely to the family from now onwards, I won’t have to say “Maa..help me”…something like that. Only the first month where I have to borrow some money for house rental those.  

The second incident happened when we arrived to our budget hotel. The pipe was broken! Water was everywhere in the house. LOL. Such a dramatic event huh! But the owner was so nice that she reserved another hotel for us in next few streets. Meaning, we have to carry and push our entire luggage from one point to the other. Seriously, tiring! Almost 30kg on me! When we finally arrived, there was no elevator and its situated on second floor. Wuuhoooo…! Crazy! Thanks to my colleague for carrying the two 20kg luggage up to second floor, and when check out, carry it back to downstairs. Kesian.

Upon check out, we were being fetched to company by driver for trying on our uniforms and signing of documents and the like. Spent some time there. Haih. But why rain! I seriously admire the weather, it rains from 11 to 6/7pm nonstop. It was indeed irritating! I don’t like holding umbrella, walking in the rain, in the streets, where there was no space at all for you to move, since everyone was holding umbrella too. The street became so narrow and everyone was like rushing here and there, why so rush! I don’t like being push and asked to walk faster.

Oh yeah! And...also we went to CTM to get a mobile numbers, and after all I’ve chosen a package with 1gb data usage with 100minutes of calling. I just know that Macau is applying charges to both parties, means no matter you are calling or answering call, there is charges to your bill, and just know, Singapore is the same too. Why like that huh? I don’t really understand. So, the third incident happened. HAHA Seems the bad luck was with us all the time, but specifically to my colleague. Both of us chosen the 1gb with 100min prepaid package, mine was alright. But, for my colleague case, the salesperson did no registered the 1gb plan for him, just a usual mop100 prepaid usage in the phone, without the 1gb data. But did not know until he found out that he couldn’t go online any longer, while after checking data usage, it was only 8mb used. So we went to another CTM outlet, and they told that he did not registered successfully this plan. At last, he has to pay another mop100 for this plan. =.= What a bad bad super bad days.

Am so fatigue to get myself think back these incidents. It’s just too many! Well, story doesn’t end here. There was the 4^th incident. HAHA Its about our house loh! Simplified version, we were not allowed to move in until the owner has signed the agreement. But we have already checked out of our hotel and there is no any budget hotel around. Why why why! So end up I live in a luxury hotel, HAHA!  XD

PS: Macau has quite a lot of handsome!! 

♫♪ Diary: Lexy ♥ her job!

Please rain.

Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.and still sighing. I couldn't describe my current state now. Its not that uncomfortable to stay at home this long. Who doesn't love lazing at home watching TV shows or spent some time on the dramas with one hand holding chips and another with coke? I love it!

Wasting time on the dramas, the korean shows, discussing with friend which movie to watch tonight, skyping with the friends over there in UK, and whatsoever, day and night. Woke on the noon, slept on the midnight. I am super duper free now. Free as in the bad way. I don't like it already.

It doesn't matter if you work from home, or if you are a housewife, or you are a boss! No body will have any words on you. It matters when you do not have a serious job and dumping your life into just like that! Yeah, who else? It's me, myself, the useless noob. At the time being, all the voices will come from your surrounding area. LOL. Yeahh, those who comes near to you and start showing off their nagging skills. How impressive and how it trigger you mood for the whole day.

ARghh! My brain is gonna explode, my eyes gonna have the intimate specs, and eventually gonna acquire bigger size clothes. LOL wtf! and its so freaking HOT right now that I couldn't get on bed. I can even see my sweat evaporating. kns! Having a nice good quality sleep is just another wish of mine. 

Please rain! 








♫♪ Diary: Lexy ♥ freedom.

What to say today

一直依赖着家人，永远无法消除惰性。

懒惰。因为衣来伸手，饭来张口。

If you don't start to make any changes to you life, 

you will always be the same kind of person.

as simple as that.

You can't learn, you can't grow, you can't proceed.

Your life will get stuck in a rut.

so, get set and move!

no ones gonna wait for you.

*please please mocha, act faster! *